Us
by foxwise
Summary: A series of corny one-shots revolving around my two favorite babes because I'm Elsanna trash. I wrote these during a super long flight on a cellphone, so don't expect much. (No incest)
1. Coffee Cups

There are five things that, to me, make this world a little less bleak: dogs, music, coffee, sweaters, and food.

The sixth had my attention one afternoon in a cliché coffee shop. I was doing another gig. Nothing crazy, same dim lighting in the corner with a lone stool that I usually keep warm every Thursday. It was fine at the time; all I needed was my guitar. I didn't think anyone was listening though; I did it mostly for myself. I'd practice covers, play around with the harmonies and sing what felt right.

Turned out someone was listening past the coffee grinders and keypad clicking. I just couldn't tell when she did. She always wore a cap with the shop's logo as she ran around making fancy cappuccinos. Out of all the baristas there, she was the only one I never really spoke to. She was always making drinks but never touched the register. The only contact we shared was her calling out my name as I waved lamely to collect my coffee. It didn't help that she was gorgeous. There's no sugar coating here. She was knee-buckling, heart attack-inducing gorgeous; the kind to make your throat close and ears red just with a glance.

There was no way she didn't know it. Mirrors exist. The best part about her was how humble she was. This girl never fished for compliments but knew how to take them with a ridiculously dazzling smile.

The point is, even when I tried to strike up something polite or even ask about her day, I just wasn't quick enough. Or she'd look me straight in the eye and I'd choke because she might as well have been looking into my soul. I wasn't good at being anything but awkward, so you can imagine how creepy I probably seemed most times that I just stared at her. It was cringe-worthy.

This girl, the one that turned off all my social skills with a smile, was listening to me more than anyone else there.

I noticed on a particularly stormy Thursday while the shop was dead, minus a few college kids cramming after weeks of procrastinating at most. There wasn't much of a crowd but it was raining and playing for a few hours seemed like a smarter option. I set up per usual, tuning a bit before starting off with a new song I'd memorized. My eyes scanned the familiar room, not really caring that the college kids had headphones on. My fingers moved along the neck of my acoustic lazily as I sang softly.

Then one of the baristas, Kristoff, dropped a mug he was cleaning out of boredom. It didn't shatter but the loud thump grabbed my attention enough to glance at their station.

That's when I saw her in the corner, leaning over the counter on her elbows with her head in her hands and an easy smile. I faltered for a second, taking a breath too long before finding the rhythm again.

She didn't miss the slip up, ducking her head as her smile grew behind her black cap. She didn't look back up, I think she knew then how nervous she made me feel. But her smile was still there and it was so warm. It made it hard to stay focused on the lyrics. She was still listening though, slightly swaying her body as I finally hit the last cords.

The rain was still pitter-pattering in the back, making the silence comfortable with the final note still echoing. A beat passed as she looked back up, her eyes gleaming at me. It was inducing that heart attack I was telling you about as I quickly looked down to my guitar. I stalled, plucking random notes until I finally decided to woman up. Glancing back up at her, I cleared my throat and spoke into the mic.

"Looks like I'm all yours today, so... uh... Any requests?"

She shrugged, "Surprise me." It was the first time we spoke to each other and I tried not to freak out on the outside as much as I was inside. Fuck, I had it bad.

I hummed quietly, tuning the strings until they sounded right to me. My calloused fingers strummed to a steady melody as I glanced from the cords to her.

"Well, maybe I'm a crook for stealing your heart away  
Yeah, maybe I'm a crook for not caring for it~"

Then the door chimed and some poor soaked soul tried to shake off the rain as they walked up the counter a bit out of breath. She didn't move as Kristoff took to the register, a minute later he was repeating the order to her. She looked at me a few seconds longer before sighing and fixing up the man's drink. I didn't miss the little side glances she'd give me over her shoulder or the way her ears perked to listen past the grinder. It was cute and my lovesick mind started to wonder if this could actually go somewhere. It would be worth getting stuck longer than my usual bit.

"You love, love, love  
When you know I can't love you..."

I struck the last note as she passed the man his drink. He tried to slip a folded piece of paper over the counter, which I'm sure was his number along with hopes and dreams. I'm also sure he wasn't expecting her to look at it curiously and toss it in the trash as if it was just something she'd missed cleaning earlier. I had to cover my mouth to hide my little snort. Good thing he was already rushing out the door in embarrassment before he could hear it. She leaned forward on her elbows again, smile stretching to a grin as I giggled softly.

"That was a bit harsh, don't you think?"

She waved a hand, "I have no idea what you're talking about." But her wink said otherwise. For the rest of my short time there, I sang for her instead of myself.

Before I knew it, it was closing hour and Kristoff kicked me out. I sighed, throwing my guitar case over my shoulder and looking back regretfully. All that time and I didn't get her number.

It was still showering a bit as I pulled over my hoodie to hide my head. Trotting closer to my car, I fished for my keys, unlocking it with a little beep. Before I could actually get in my car, there were footsteps splashing behind me. Then there was a light tap on my shoulder.

There she was, in the Seattle rain with these hopeful eyes and a small smile. It was as if all her confidence was left behind the counter. I smiled back gently, waiting for her to say something as she fiddled with the buttons of her coat.

"Um..." Yeah, I still didn't know how to speak in front of her.

Then almost as if she couldn't wait to get the words out, she asked in a rush, "Do you wanna grab dinner?"

I raised my brows as my smile grew. With a quick glance to my watch, I laughed nervously, "Is there anything even open right now?"

"... Do you like Taco Bell?"

Yup, she's a keeper. 


	2. Curious Things

"Do you get offended when people complain about winter?"

"No."

"Do you ever feel cold?"

"No."

"How do you feel about the Titanic?"

"Indifferent."

That's how it was for the majority of their flight passed. Elsa wondered if it was a good idea to tell her about her gift. They'd been together for so long, she felt like she had no choice at this point. The blonde was scared of how her girlfriend would react. This kind of stuff shouldn't even exist in their world but Elsa is a loving contradiction.

"Have you ever set off a blizzard out of anger?"

"Maybe once."

"How about sex?"

"Anna!"

"What? It's a legitimate question." She held up her hands in mock surrender, a tiny smile playing over her lips.

This kind of reaction was the last thing Elsa expected, hoping Anna's curiosity would die out after a few days. Yet, here they are a week later on a flight to Vancouver for their friend's wedding.

A few minutes had passed and Elsa sighed in relief, slowly drifting off when Anna whispered in her ear, "Have you ever tried making a sex toy out of ice?"

"For the love of god..." The blonde grumbled, trying to turn away from her girlfriend with a complimentary blanket over her head. Luckily they were in the privacy of first class, but now Elsa wondered if economy seats would've kept Anna quiet.

The redhead giggled as she stared out the window, the distant city lights looked like orange stars bundled together. After a few thoughts to herself, she poked the shape of Elsa's head hidden under a blanket, "Hey, babe..." The seriousness of her tone had baby blue eyes peeking from the cover.

"Why didn't you tell me before? I mean, we've been together for a while... You never trusted me until now?" Anna sounded hurt, making Elsa take off the blanket and face her in sympathy.

"It's not like that... I just..." She cupped Anna's cheeks, feeling the need to caress her skin as a way to make her understand better. "I was terrified and I didn't want you to be scared or leave me... I'm not sure, I just know that I can't lose you."

Pressing a chaste kiss over her lips, Elsa bumped her forehead with Anna's. "I love you so much, babe."

Anna smiled gently, kissing her nose, "... I've grown kind of fond of you I guess... I mean you're okay in bed."

Elsa chuckled, playfully pushing her away, "This is why I can't be romantic with you, dork."

With Elsa pretending to pout, Anna linked their fingers and kissed her knuckles, "You could never scare me, you're nothing but a big ole softie."

"Thanks." The blonde dead panned.

Anna ignored it as she leaned her head on her girlfriend's shoulder. Elsa was ready to drift back to sleep when...

"How about ice cuffs?"

We still had 3 hours left.


	3. Pas de duex

"Pleeeease, mommy!"

My son rarely asked for much, so when he came running up to my office with a brochure for dance classes, I knew I couldn't say no. He was such a good kid who never expected more than what was given. Saying no would almost be criminal.

I smiled between him and the brochure, "You and your grand ideas."

He beamed at me, a lopsided grin as his eyes sparkled with hope, "I just wanna dance like you used to, can I please?"

That did it for me. Ruffling his wild hair, I pinched his nose as he giggled, "Sure, kiddo."

With a squeal, he jumped on top of my lap, showering my cheek with kisses, "You're the best, mommy!"

* * *

Next thing I knew, we were outside his new dance studio. He was bouncing around all excited, set in his leotard, tights, and dancing flats.

I read the sign as it mimicked the name of the brochure: Arendelle Arts.

They couldn't think of something a little more creative?

I felt a sharp tug on my arm, "C'mon, I don't wanna be late!" I smiled, letting him lead me to the door.

There was a receptionist waiting behind their desk as I finalized automatic payments, then she pointed at one of the several doors.

"The beginners class is just there, parents can watch upstairs, just take those steps. If you need the restroom it's right by the dressing room." I took in the soft color tones on the walls, photos of past students, and the colorful cushions over the lounge chairs. So far, it seemed friendly enough.

"The director should already be warming up, if you'd like to be acquainted."

With a thankful nod, we headed for his new studio carrying a bounce in our step. I was excited for him, thinking back to when I was his age.

Once I opened the door, several pairs of eyes stared curiously. I gave them a small wave, which some returned and in one second, my son was already running up to make new friends.

At first, I wasn't sure how this would pan out, if they would tease him or not. Five-year old kids can be savage and usually don't have filters. From the way he was smiling though, I'd say it was a promising start.

I swept my eyes, scanning for the director to introduce myself but fell short. Then in the corner, a young woman stood where she was helping some of the girls stretch. I didn't know how I missed her before.

Her back was to me as she approached my son, "Hi there, what's your name?"

Wait, I know that voice.

"I'm Olaf, I'm new."

She stuck out her hand comically, as he giggled . "We'll I'm Anna, are your parents here?"

Oh my god.

I wanted to turn on my heel and sprint out. The last time I saw her we... Well, it wasn't the best parting.

Olaf pointed his little finger at me, feeling a little betrayed. She turned her neck, glancing behind her shoulder as her eyes registered me with familiarity.

She looked more gorgeous than I last remembered, if that was even possible. Red locks were managed up in a loose bun, minus a few stubborn strays sticking out. Her long sleeve leotard wrapped her slender body as a short dance skirt decorated her hips, while her black tights defined her legs.

And, of course, she wore her signature black and gold flats.

She stood to her full height, quickly telling everyone to group up in partners to help stretch and making sure Olaf had a partner too.

Her attention landed back on me, making my throat tight as she smiled fondly with a shake of her head. She approached slowly, almost as afraid as I had been. But she was still smiling gently and I couldn't help but smile back. She was good at that.

"Elsa."

It was gentle on my ears, the sound of my name after years without it was refreshing. Her tone was nostalgic, "It's so good to see you." She wrapped her arms around me as I relaxed at the touch, wrapping my arms over her shoulder with a longing squeeze. "God, Anna, you look great. I can't believe you came back."

She broke the embrace, still holding onto my elbows with her soft fingers. With a shrug, she sighed, "I needed some time to myself, after what happened... I just- traveling helped with that. I always planned on coming back, this is home."

I nodded, swallowing thickly. It was still hard to talk about it. She shook her head as if to shake off the drop in mood. "What've you been up to? I mean, you're married. you have a kid- that's, wow!"

I nodded, glancing at my son with pride. "He's my little joy, but I'm not married." Wiggling my left ring finger to emphasis.

She flushed in embarrassment, dropping her hands to play with her skirt, "Oh, sorry I just assumed. You know me, talking without thinking."

I didn't want to get into this conversation with my son a few feet away so I changed the subject. "It's fine... You seem to be doing great. You finally own a studio, how amazing is that?"

She tucked a strand behind her ear as she bit her lip with a smile, "I guess we both grew up."

"Yeah," I breathed.

Feeling very aware of how much we were blatantly staring, I cleared my throat to break the tension, "Um, you have a class teach but... Let's catch up soon, yeah?"

"I'd love that." She gave me another brief hug. I missed the contact when we parted, struggling with the knots in my stomach and the swell in my chest.

Giving a final wave to Olaf, I left them to it and made my way to the parent lobby.

There were a few parents, some reading a magazine, some on their phones, and a select few watching their kids. There were only two windows, showing the studio Olaf was in and another one for older kids.

I slid into a corner by the edge of the window, opening up the shades a bit more as I peeked. I eyed Anna, watching the way she spoke with the kids, and helping them individually if they needed it. It was adorable.

And the way Olaf's face lit up any time he memorized the steps right? I knew there was no mistake in this decision. I just couldn't believe my luck.

There were a few times Anna would glance up at the window, and each time, I would try to hide or pretend I was looking at Olaf. She made me nervous all over again and even more so when she caught me off guard. She would smile, the blend of blue and green in her eyes shutting down my social skills. All I could do was give an awkward wave and hate myself after.

It was like we were meeting for the first time. The funny thing is how our relationship started. To be blunt, we hated each other. I found her as annoying as she found me arrogant. We were rivals, both top dancers feuding in the same company for lead roles. And then one day we were forced to work with each other, sparking something else.

One thing led to the other and I didn't find her annoying anymore. She was so selfless and passionate. I saw it when she danced, the way she trusted her partner with every fiber of her being. I wanted her to trust me like that, so I approached her with an idea.

She wasn't too keen at first, but I didn't stop trying to earn that trust. When I stopped putting up my façade, she started to notice me as the broken girl I was. That's probably what set our demise, how broken I was from the start. That's also what finally got her to trust me.

And when we danced together, it was... I lived for it.

I hadn't realized the class was over until some of the parents started getting up to leave. Had an hour really passed? Jesus.

The bustle of kids coming out the class filled the quiet lounge. Meeting their parents as they talked about an upcoming show. Out of all the little heads, I couldn't find the familiar mop of deep red.

He was probably still inside.

I stepped in the studio, smiling at the sight of Anna giving Olaf a private lesson. She was bringing him up to speed, feet positions and posture kind of thing. It didn't take long for them to notice me, Olaf running up and smashing his face between my knees is a crushing hug.

"Hey, kiddo, have fun?"

I caressed his wild locks as he went on a rant about his class and how much he wanted to come back.

"I hoped you wouldn't mind me holding him a little longer, I want him to catch up with the others his age." Anna was collecting her purse, her flats padding against the studio floor as she came up to us.

I shook my head, "No, it's fine. I'm sure he enjoyed it."

"Can we get ice cream now?"

Anna giggled, ruffling his hair, "I'll see you two Thursday."

She opened the door for us, waiting for us to step out before locking up behind her. I didn't want this to end just yet, I mean, this kind of chance meeting doesn't just happen.

My voice caught in my throat as she fiddled with the lock. Then Olaf squeezed my hand, "You okay, mommy?"

She met my eyes and she cocked her head. I swallowed thickly with a nervous chuckle, "Anna... Do you... Would you want to- um..."

She smirked knowingly, "Let's grab coffee tomorrow; Is that what you wanted to ask?"

I laughed, throwing my head in my hand flustered, "I hate that you know me so well."

She just shrugged, "Meet me at Oaken's then, noon."

"That place is still open?"

She smiled, "Don't all good things last?"


	4. The Best Mistake

Okay, so this one may have been my fault. Does that mean it's ruined the entire trip? Depends on how you look at it.

I may or may not have suggested taking a route that led us to bandit country, that was still up for debate. So were our lives. Good news is, I don't think they know who we are. It helps to not dress so flashy.

There were still a few tidbits I needed to figure out. Where we were going. What they want from us. And how to get Elsa to shut up.

"Why did I even listen to you?" She whispered harshly as we rode along together, our hands tied to the saddle.

I rolled my eyes, "I'm still figuring that one out, it's not like you usually do."

I didn't even really try muttering under my breath, ignoring the icy daggers she sent my way with one look over her shoulder.

"I can't stand you sometimes-"

"All the time."

"-and I can't believe my father even chose you. You've been completely unreliable."

I chuckled sarcastically, "Didn't you want to make this trip as short as possible? I do remember you saying, I don't care which way we go as long as we get there."

She stayed quiet for the best minute of my life. It didn't last.

"Where did he even find you?"

"Do you really care to know?"

"I wouldn't be asking if I didn't, would I?"

For the love of all that is good, give me patience.

There was a gruff voice beside us, "keep up the bickering and I'll make sure you both stay on this horse all night when we make camp."

I was waiting for her to bite his head off. I admit, I was a little hurt when I realized I was a very special case.

I waited a few minutes before leaning close to her ear, making sure no one could hear, "I'm from Arendelle, princess."

She jumped slightly from the contact, back running a little straighter than usual. Giving me a questionable look, she watched my face for a moment, "I would've known you if that were true. You're hard to forget."

"Good eye, I aspire to be memorable. I was part of a small band of elite guards before being assigned with babysitting. I usually travelled with your father."

"... I know my father's guards."

"Sure, but have you ever travelled with him?"

Sweet silence, always short lived.

"See? You truly don't know everything. Don't take it to heart, I know it must be very difficult for you to be wrong." I teased with a smile on my lips. I never said I didn't enjoy playing with her temper. She just made it so easy.

Her face flushed, lips drawing back to a scowl as her brows crinkled together, "you're incorrigible."

"And you're a brat."

The bandit barked at us, "Ay, what did I say?!"

We held our tongues, riding in silence until an idea struck. With a dramatic sigh, I slumped forward, letting my dead weight fall on Elsa's back as she huffed in irritation. "What're you- get off of me!" I hushed her, dropping my head on her shoulder, "I feel faint, I'm not sure if I can handle this heat!" My tone was mocking, taking exaggerated huffs of air as I whined to Elsa. "Oh no, everything is fading and- and... I die!"

She scoffed, "You've got to be kidding me." With a final act of distress, I pretended to pass out over a very annoyed Elsa while the bandit ignored my antics, shaking his head.

I sighed happily, feeling my spine relax a bit from the long ride while she struggled to shrug me off. After a few minutes, she gave in. I honestly wasn't going to drag it for this long, but then she relaxed into me and it felt... Nice.

"For what it's worth, Elsa, you're not so bad when you're not barking at me."

"... Hush, the dead don't speak."

We stayed that way for the rest of the ride.


	5. Spectacular

Elsa Kordell.

The name was painted over her cart as it chipped from wear. It was one of the biggest carts on the train aside from the Ringmaster's. The shade was a deep Royal blue with delicate but simple patterns framing around her name. It didn't seem good enough to me. The paint shouldn't have been chipping for a name like that.

No, Miss Kordell deserved better. My opinion didn't matter though, let alone my presence. I wasn't worth her time. Just another captivated audience that managed to sneak into one of the back carts just as they started moving for the next town. A washed up writer has no business with a star like her.

It's probably been a month now and I've only seen her a few spare times while she practiced. Usually, I would hide behind one of the tents and watch until Kristoff would knock me over the head. He always kept me in check, I mean I owe my life to him for sticking out his neck and finding me some work. I still wondered why he even decided to help an unemployed bum but I'm glad he did. He was the only one who made me feel like I belonged even though I wasn't like any of them.

That's probably what drew me to this train the most. I don't like using stereotypical names and I wouldn't call what they do a freak show, but it's definitely something else. It's magic and there's not much more to it. I couldn't explain it if I tried, but all I can say is that every act is enchanting in its own way. That's what's keeping the train running and the food on their tables. Circuses stopped being a main attraction when they ran out of new acts to do, so naturally people lost interest. Then Southern Spells popped up out of nowhere, causing a commotion wherever they stopped.

This one lady, Esmeralda, is an amazing acrobat but what makes her special is her knack for disappearing. Not your second rate magician crap, I mean, I've seen this woman fall twenty feet in the air and vanish just as she taps the floor before appearing back again at the top.

Crazy, right?

Amelia is the animal expert but, more importantly, she morphs into the animals she works with and plays a game with the audience until they figure out which one is the real her.

They never get it right.

Meg's act is one of thee coolest though. She can manipulate statues as if they were puppets and...

I'm rambling again.

I looked down at my reflection in a bucket as I cupped my hands and splashed cold water over my face. Anything cold reminded me of her. I wasn't an idiot, I knew what infatuation was but I never really thought I would ever jump on a moving train for a stranger. Best mistake I could've made, I guess.

The only problem was, a month later and I still haven't talked to her. Every one else had been friendly enough, minus a few rough edges but she was just plain elusive. I wondered what would take longer, getting over this infatuation or saying hello.

Groaning as I popped the kinks in my neck, I dried my hands and fell back into my cot. It wasn't the most comfortable bedding, but it was better than pebbles and dirt. I rubbed my eyes tiredly as the train rolled along the track. Some nights the rocking was soothing. This was not one of those nights. I was restless and the movement only made it worse.

I grew bored, tapping my toes together with nothing to do until a thought popped up. It was something I've always wanted to do. It might kill me, but what's life without a little risk? Wrote that in an article once.

Without another thought, I sat up and tugged my boots on. I must've lost my mind at this point. Next thing I knew I was climbing up the side of the train and trying to balance myself as I clambered on to the top.

What a horrible decision. Bravo, Anna.

I didn't even try standing, I wouldn't make it if I did. Instead, I sat back on my palms with my legs crossed and looked at the view. It was different seeing the world this way. It was quiet while the train was loud, chugging through the night.

Then I looked up and realized how nice the countryside is. There were so many stars, it put any city view to shame.

With the wind roaring in my ears, I didn't notice someone behind me until they spoke over the train.

"What're you doing up here?" I looked back, eyebrows shooting up when I realized who it was. Miss Kordell.

She was even more beautiful up close.

Her hair was fighting its way out of a messy braid as she clutched her robe around herself. Light smudges of mascara framed her eyes, brightening those hues of blue as she waited for an answer.

I pointed up, "Uh... Stars."

Her eyes narrowed, trying to read me as I cleared my throat and tried again.

"I mean... I couldn't sleep, so I thought this would help."

Wow, Anna, you managed a full sentence. She tilted her head, as if she were considering something before shrugging and sitting beside me. I tried not to stare, I really did but I couldn't help it. This is the closest we've ever been and I couldn't believe that this was real. Who knows, maybe I'd fallen off the train and this is just a sad illusion as I bled over the rocks.

She mimicked my pose, leaning back on her hands and looking to the sky with a deep breath. She looked peaceful. I didn't want to ruin the moment by opening my big mouth, so I silently watched. Dazed and confused as ever. Her gaze flickered to the side, catching me with a small smile. "You're that stow away everyone keeps talking about, Anna, right?"

I swallowed hard with a nod as she faced me. "What made you want to join us?" I liked how she used the term so freely, as if I was hired and not taken in. It was welcoming.

"Can I tell you a story?"

Her faint smile grew wider as she smirked with a curt, "Sure."

"It was a quiet day until the loud whistling of a train echoed all through town, whispering to the public..."

For what felt like forever, I immersed myself in the story I was telling, gesturing with my hands wildly. Her eyes glimmered in a fond way, she could tell I was passionate.

"A girl, lost in her own failure hears the grinding wheels screech, perking at the sound as she follows it. You see, it had been years since she'd seen the colorful carts of the circus roll into town."

Elsa leaned forward, resting her head in her hand and nodding along to encourage me.

"It sparked something childlike in her soul as she watched them set their big tops. Then it was time for the big show. She manages to buy a ticket with the last bit of change she has, ignoring the need to buy a hot meal instead. See, she was a firm believer in feeding her eyes too..."

I told her my sad story and how the circus picked up the pieces that were who I was a month ago. I told her how I fell in love with the magic in each act, especially hers. The one thing I didn't want to give away yet was the true reason I jumped on this train, as if it were my biggest treasure. I'd scare her off if I told her how she had me the moment I saw her. She had me now, with those gorgeous eyes and sexy smile.

"You're good with your words, I haven't been that invested in a story in years," I blushed deeply, looking down to my dirtied boots with a small thank you.

There was something nagging me though, so I indulged my curiosity, "Why're you up here?"

I knew I shouldn't have asked the moment her smile faded. She took a deep breath and gazed at the stars again. Her eyes were glistening now and I knew I hit a sharp nerve.

"... Honestly, I was going to jump."

My throat tightened because I understood that feeling all too well. There were a few times I wanted to give up too and I almost did before I ended up here. I kept quiet, feeling the tension thicken in my chest and raise the wisps of hair on my neck. Death had a strong presence, even the mention of it was not to be trifled with.

"This train... It's not what it seems."

She breathed in. It was shaky and carried a whimper as she faced me again. She fighting the urge to cry, wiping under her eyes with a measly chuckle, "I'm sorry, you shouldn't have to hear this."

I laid a hand over her knee, "You shouldn't have to be apologize for the way you feel. It's not fair if you do."

She laughed a little more genuinely this time, "And why is that?"

"... Because you shouldn't have to be sorry for things out of your control."

She sniffled, rubbing her eyes again and smudging her mascara even more. A few minutes passed and the train blew its horn, letting out steam into the crisp night air.

Her breathing calmed as she got herself together. Then she sighed, shaking her head lightly with a lopsided smile, "So... Do you have any more stories to share?" 


	6. Taking Our Time

I've kept a close eye on every person in your life. I've scrutinized and made mental notes of who they are as a person and how they behave around you. I've made many judgments and you've always hated when I was right. You hated when I told you so, because you're stubborn. Another quality I've learned to love.

I never held back, I think you like that about me. Then you met "the one" and my heart nearly split in two because I couldn't find a single thing off about him. It bothered me so much and I knew why, I wasn't stupid. I've always been so damn aware of how you make me feel. It was even more infuriated that you didn't realize it yourself. What was I supposed to do with that?

You fell in love with him. My heart splintered when you told me. Then he asked you to marry him. That broke me into irreplaceable pieces. The last thing I wanted was to ruin your happy ending because I was a firm believer that you deserved every ounce of that. I wanted to give you the world and to do so I had to let you do. I failed. I still love you and it's an unbearable pain I feel all the time because I can't see my life without you. I don't want to live a life without you in it. Is it possible to love a person that much or would it be considered insanity at this point?

It's definitely a risk, which is why it's always been a craze in the world. Love is a drug and you're it to me. It's disgusting cliché. I used to make fun of those girls who would ogle and go on about love. Now I'm one of them and it's made me soft. It's like a cancer and I don't want it to go away if it means losing you. There have been times when you look at me... And I can't help but hope you feel the same way. That you woke up one morning and just knew. Hope is horrid. It lets me down each time and I hate myself for it.

It's moved on to this breaking point. I don't think I can do this anymore. You asked me to be your maid of honor and I said yes. We hugged and I cried but for different reasons. You assumed I was overjoyed. In reality, I was crying because I knew it was done. I had lost you forever. So I hugged you tightly because I knew I couldn't ever win against him.

He was handsome, loving, and responsible. He could take care of you. I've always wondered if he could love you the way I've always had. There's no way you haven't figured it out by now. It must be glaringly obvious. My god, I love you. I say that phrase to you more than I should, but the way you take it is different from the way I say it. Please understand that I will never stop loving you. You're it for me.

Then while having lunch, your eyes start to water. You don't tell me immediately, but I know. I've always figure you out before you get the chance to. You tried to hide it with a napkin and a complaint to the wind. I took a big sip of soda and asked the waitress for wine because I needed to calm down. You didn't have to say anything but I knew. He did this. Somehow, he did this and I couldn't tell if I was happy or enraged at finally picking out his major fault. I didn't say anything, waiting for you to break because as usual, you would.

"I'm scared, Anna." You say in a weak whisper. Wiping your mouth as you look down at the other half of your sandwich, appetite spoiled. I wait, knowing you just need time. That's all I can ever give you.

"I don't know what I'm doing."

Letting a beat pass, I wipe my mouth and swallow down my lunch with a gulp of wine. "The wedding?"

She took too long to answer with a hesitant shrug. I give you a small smile, trying to meet your eyes, those cerulean gems, "That doesn't give me much to work with, love."

You smile back gently, fading into your thoughts as you take another minute to gather a proper explanation. "I'm not sure about Hans..."

I try not to let my heart beat out of my chest in excitement, I've done that too many times. So I take a deep breath with another swig for courage.

"What's made you doubt him? Don't you love him?" Don't you love me?

Then she went on a rant about how distant he's been acting. Her voice was low but her tone still held a sharpness to it. I think we both had the same predictions but were too afraid to state them out loud. I had to be her rock though, I had to be the truth bearer that she always needed. "Do you think he's seeing someone else?"

Your eyes turned glossy and you breath out in relief because most people would've made jump through hoops before they could guess it right. I made it simple and you were grateful. This was a difficult conversation anyway.

I lean forward on my elbows and take hold of one of your hands, "hey, take a deep breath. How do you know this?"

You explain how he's been coming home late from the office. He comes home looking more disheveled than usual with a different kind of sent. He turns away when he's texting and steps outside for certain calls. These can be menial things but then you mention the night he didn't know you were coming home. He thought you were staying at your parents but instead you decided to surprise him.

The Mini Cooper in your shared driveway gave you pause, so you entered your home quietly. You didn't know why but you subconsciously did it. One moan from him was all it took and you ran out. You had called me to stay over that night and I remember it clearly because you felt off but didn't mention a thing. Now I understood why.

"Are you gonna leave him?" I wanted to ask you so badly that I forgot my manners. You just thought I was being blunt. Your skittish eyes met mine, worried of your answer because you yourself weren't sure.

I pushed on, "You don't have to marry him. You can walk away from all this, nothing is set in stone."

My words were biased. Of course I want you to leave him, so naturally id tell you to. I knew you'd do things your way but I couldn't help but be hopeful one last time. It's my fault.

We part with running thoughts in our heads. You sleep next to your fiancé, wondering what would be the best course of action. I sleep at home with my dog cuddling close, thinking about how I want to punch his perfect nose in. I wouldn't have done this to you, but it's a selfish thought so I just think about how much I hate him.

A week passed and now... Now you're crying at my doorstep in the rain. It felt surreal. Things you'd only see in movies. You run into my open arms and tell me how it finally happened. You finally caught him and all you could do was runaway as he called out to you. I tell you to stay as long as you like because in truth I want you to stay forever in my arms. Another week passes and by now you're living with me until Hans moves out. It's unfortunate for you that he's taking his sweet time, but I enjoy it more than I should. I help you collect a few essentials, keeping an eye out for his car while you collected your things. We nearly made it out until he came home, screeching his tires on asphalt like the asshole he is. "Baby! Please, let's talk about this. I've been trying to get a hold of you for days!"

I stand between the two of you and he gives me a scowl. He's always hated me. I'm pretty sure he's always known. We stared each other down while she finished her packing in a rush. While she tumbled downstairs nervously, her eyes flitted between the two of us before she looked down and opened her mouth, facing Hans, "It's over... I don't want to see you again."

Something in my heart came back to life when I saw you rip away your ring. You tossed it to his feet and ran to my car before he could stop you. The he gave me a glare before screaming at me, "You did this to us, you were always in the fucking way. Get out, you cunt!"

I could tell he was drinking from the way his breath crinkled my nose. When I heard the passenger door of my car shut, I left him to his tantrum. I wanted to shout and bring my fist to his face but it wasn't worth it. He was scum and I didn't need to do anything except get in the car and get you home.

You stay with me for a long time, longer than either of us expect. A month passes and Hans is gone... But you like staying with me. We have movie nights and I make dinner when you get home late from work. On occasion, we cuddle on the sofa. Sometimes I don't know how to take it, relishing in the moment in case you find another or decide you're done with me. If I think about it too much, I get nervous and act awkward.

Then we decide to a wine night. Fuck, what a bad idea. We finish two bottles and end up cuddling on the sofa again. This time, I didn't steer clear from boundaries. Oh no. With one arm holding up my head, the other snakes around your body, tucked gently under your breasts. My face buries into your neck as my lips tickle your neck from time to time. I grow brave, leaving tender kisses there as you sigh happily and cuddling closer, pressing your body into mine. It feels so good, the way we fit together. The way I brush your braid aside so I can kiss your neck wouldn't have happened on a sober night. I would've been too scared.

You don't stop me, instead you encourage me with your caressing hands on my arm. You breath out a whimper as you slowly turn your face. Your body follows until your hands our cupping my cheek and our breaths intermingle. My mind is fuzzy with lust and alcohol but I have enough sense to memorize it. You don't kiss me at first. Instead, you lick my lips playfully, as if you were testing a sample before trying the meal. I moaned eagerly, unabashed as you suckled on my bottom lip ever so lightly. I'm losing my mind at this point. Without regret, my fingers snake the back of your neck as I tug you forward. You gasp with a groan as our lips meet in a long, whiny kiss.

"I love you." I whisper between breaks for air. I kiss against your smile, smiling a bit myself. We're clumsy and passionate, so I take my time roving your body. I don't want to mess this up, so my moves are calculated as they are timid.

Then you pull back, coming close to my ear, "I love you too."

The hands on your hips clench as my heart swells in a painful way. I've waited for so long to hear you say it the way I've said it. I hug you close, bringing us back to earth as we breathed deeply into each other. Kissing her cheek, I take in the scent of strawberry from her shampoo as we both grow drowsy. This is for the best. When we wake up, we won't have any excuse for what transpired. There will be no mistakes because we rushed or because alcohol told us to. We play our cards right because deep down we both understand this is scary but we're both so broken that we're willing to do it.

I sleep peacefully knowing that all those years were worth the wait.


End file.
